Oh, so many things to think ab0ut, so many things have changed. I am back and I am not, I arrived and I got lost. I gained and went away. It was quiet some time ago as I left Austin, the last moments were great, I was with people I really liked and I am glad the last few days I was able to share a little more, to get  to know people that I knew I liked a little more. I was afraid I haven’t made any lasting connections just a few days before my departure, our departure. But I know now. There where moments I thought just a few days ago I should have gone to Winnipeg, Van, Seattle and met with friends from Toronto and back home. But then I realized, I would have never met and gotten to know some of you! I am glad, I am glad I got to know you! You are my life! What keeps me up! So thank you for all of this!

Then there was this trip to Burning Man that really stressed my mind and body, fighting against the elements, the broken down bus, faith, hope. Will I ever make it? I did my best to make it work, as much as I could, and besides this. So much happening, so much party and craziness, it was all the time in the air, it was a day long up and down, I loved the ups, I disliked the downs. And it made me think, even just for seconds, but there was no time, not much time. Finally we got to the MAN, and he was waiting for us. First night, welcome in the dessert, and I was glad to have my space expended to the horizon and not just the wall of the space I was in, even if I liked, loved it at times. I needed space.  Days got crazier and at one point out of control, I had no idea what I followed anymore but I know for sure. Everything happened how I thought it would, and still it feels all so different. A night of getting to know myself, my inner self and all I want, the night of the MAN”S BURN, the night the temple fell in silence, a significant event. Spiritual important, beautiful, scary, empty, lost, found. And there we left. I lost the connections I’ve made there in the rush of the night, I tried to find them but they were long gone, I have memories of this sweet voice singing to me and don’t even know where I can find this voice again! I found a gift, something I can and what was one of the few memorable significant things of the Burn, people I’ve met and told everything I know about them, and it wasn’t new for them but it was the first time they heard someone else telling them. I am not a prophet, nor a healer, I just know and SEE! And if I ask you to talk you will tell me eventually and you know it is right. But this were moments, and the next moment we were back on the road, in my head the beauty of others, the experiences others have made. I learned about myself through my experience and the way I followed and even more through the tears and joy others had. I admire you, I am jealous but in a good way. I KNOW! You made it. Thanks my dark friend, even if you don’t even looked at me, no idea what part I played, but the very last moment you did something right, something I know it was meant to be. You only know the meaning of myself in this play. There I was, in a town somewhere, on my way to the coast, going west till I reach the end. In my head the two sides of me, the crazy one, the one with whip, wearing a skirt or nothing at all, the decent one looking for love and connection. And nothing of it seems bad or wrong, what shall I do? Who am I? Myself is torn apart, I can look through me and see long lost pieces of my past, and of myself. It’s strange, how can I fill this new spaces created in my mind? What shall there be? I feel, I am afraid and the same time I feel something is coming, and it’s new, it’s something bigger. Something end and something just start. A transformation not yet to understand. But right now life is calm. I’m staying with someone, left alone, I need this time. Gonna have a healing nap in just a second.

My friends I am okay. I know what I need, I know what I want and I know my desires, I know what’s lost in me, or just misplaced, and I will do what it takes to get it back, once the time is right. A few more days, I wish I could feel the warmth right now. It’s a little cool. Talk to you soon!

You Marco