#1 – Words!

I say what I want and I keep doing that. Why do you take things so super serious? I mean what’s the point in over-judging things that have been said. I mean who decides how you take what others tell you?? Is it really you? Open up a little and well, at the end I fucking now at least, if you can’t take it. If you can’t handle it and rather play it that way. You’re not right for me anyways. It’s a simple way of figuring out who I will enjoy having around me or not. I don’t care about things said and what things mean, I can take it all. I’m not that hyper sensitive. I wanted to give it a try, but if you already beforehand limit all we can talk about to this small talk ‘how are you’ ‘blah blah blah’ I am out! I mean sorry but that’s really not the way I am. How horrible would a get together be if they weren’t laughs about the things that make you flush, or the things that make me laugh and turn around. C’mon, open up, free yourself!

#2 – Moroadtrip

Maybe it’s a breakdown, not sure what it is. But this waiting pisses me off, and nothing happens, how can I believe in a project who’s size is limited to this dozen people here and the things that need to get done don’t happen. I am pissed right now because there is nothing but talk and I mean why put anymore work in that, the clock is past 12 – now or never! I mean, I have a dream and I wanna follow this dream, no matter what but if I feel I’m wasting everything here, I’m off!

#3 – Pissed as an artist

Why doesn’t this work either? I have all this ideas and it requires some work, some time, some commitment from half a dozen of my friends. I know it’s a lot to ask, but why do I hear excitement first “yes I wanna do it” and then no one has time. I feel everything I touch here ends in nowhere, and I wish this nowhere would be the dessert of Nevada, but the nowhere I’m talking about here is that it ends where I am standing now. Maybe it’s this whole big lesson I had to learn. If things don’t happen, make them happen. That’s how everything started, and then? Did I go wrong? Did I waste it? I don’t think so. Because personally I feel I am close to something, there was quiet, now there comes a storm and afterward the fields and trees will arise in a new green. The birds, the smell in the air. I am just pissed right now, more about myself for giving too much of my own faith out of my hand, for adapting to others.

# of the beast

I am free, I say, feel, do! That’s me. I stick to the truth and will risk with it, I should come back to it. And I realize, that’s exactly it. All this what happened, and what did it teach me? Yes! That I was right in the very beginning! Just give me a another days rest and see the green leafs of my tree.

Thanks for the very few who know, who see and understand. The once who are further in life then the once who keep running forth and back. There are a whole bunch of people who understand, who know about the resistance. And I love you! I told you that, and I keep telling it to the once who understand. Many just changed, just woke up, just realized what life is all about, why we are here, even if you’re still looking, you feel there is a way. I’m gonna show you one day! Don’t wait too long to ask for it. I can show you already, just believe in it, believe in me! *

And now it’s time for some phone calls, some messages, some requests, some honesty. Let’s see where things are going from here. Two days of thinking, I am so close!

Love you!

Marco