Ha! It came to me this morning, it made totally sense. It’s one of the first pieces of this beautiful vase I have to put together. I found myself quiet a few month ago, and I really did. And shortly after everything changed. It took me years to get that far and I didn’t understand, why would everything change that much? Why would a world, my very own world that came so close to perfection vanish in a completely different world of chaos? I’m so excited about this little thought right now, everything bursts out of my mind the same time. It’s not longer about me, I felt this already. Things have changed, and I’ve written about it, the perception of people have changed, out of nowhere I’ve seen so much more, almost like I could read mind. Other people became close to an open book to me, my intuition extended by far. I see more, I can tell you more. It’s amazing, but I didn’t understand all that, I didn’t understand why I connect to people in a different way. It’s not just about the being together, the close, intimate moments, it’s about way more. After being pretty much always on my own for the last four years, for the last six, seven, and more years, maybe since always. It’s now time, I had to loose myself again, I had to run into this little mess I’m always watching a little from above, I’m not lost in it. And here I found one thing. It’s not all about me and finding myself, it’s now about you and this very few special people, while very few became almost many. It’s about finding myself in you! It’s about this conversations, these doing things together, exploring things together, and I’m talking about pretty much everything, limitless here. It’s not longer about myself alone, and I have found it so many times, there is a piece of me in you, and in you, and in you. And the very close once, the once I’ve been with the last time, they know, they may have felt it, realized it, some might have seen themselves in me before I was able to see myself in them. This whole process, what is sometimes crazy, costs something, makes myself and others mad and angry, sometimes ends in a loss, please don’t go, komm zurueck! Sometimes it costs a lot, sometimes it can give you and me everything. And of course there is a big mess, that’s how I started out as I was on my own up to finding myself. And I contradict myself in my head, there are many ways and all ways want to be discovered, everything wants to be gained at once. It’s not always easy, and I have to decide, and realize what is really right and wrong, good and bad. It is crazy and messed up sometimes. But now it has to be like this, because it’s like I’m starting again, I could easily go back and be totally myself, I figured that, but that is not the sense of it. It’s about finding myself in you and becoming myself through this again. I believe in the bigger connection it creates. I know it will take work from my side and your side to keep such a connection for more then just the few days we have. It will take work but I do invite you, I ask you to join me from now on! I know the readers of my blog have multiplied from around three to four regulars to right now around a dozen readers, just in the last few weeks. I don’t know how it is exactly, but I would love you to help me to find. It’s an important step and soon I will be able to tell you more, maybe I’ll get lost again, and maybe it brings me back, and maybe you can help me with that. I believe in meaning, there is a meaning in everything. Nothing happens for no reason. I could list hundred little things and a dozen incredible things that would proof that. But it’s not up to me right now to point that out. Let’s wait with that.

Yesterday. What has happened? Yes I called and first time in a long time I pushed it to the edge, another edge? I called and texted all over the place, maybe I should have done even more, but then things already started happening so I did not even have time. The road trip gets a second chance, but I found my options. I’m gonna relax for just a little, thanks to a friend who isn’t involved in that project and told me I’m gonna go. Thanks for others who said, just come on over! I believe in things, and I believe in choices, and I believe at the end the right things will happen and I’m gonna make the right choices! Then, one of my friends. Lovely girl, thanks for everything we shared, thanks helping me, not knowing at that time, to figure the one above out. It was one of the last things that had to happen. My two friends, I’m telling you now I wanna see you two tonight, can’t tell why now but it’s somehow important and meaningful. Let’s do something. Then the one friend I lost last night, I can’t tell why this happened exactly that way, I can just second guess, but I know the feeling, I can see it and I please ask you to just step out for the duration of one thought and look at it a little different. Be the way you want to be, and try to be more! I won’t forget you! Then the art, well, I’m still on it. I have the feeling things are changing a little bit, I’m not sure exactly where they go, I wanna continue with my project, that’s for sure. But it might change a little. Let’s see!

I have not much time, but after lots of talking I had to decide who I really wanna be part of the project for now. J, M, B, that’s what my feeling tells me, it’s the knowledge and the things we shared individually, the talking, moments and the feelings I have when I think about your life’s, your changes, your choices. There would be one more I would love to portrait, K, but I’m not in the position to ask. I know there are more, if there would be more time, more will follow once I have time and it feels right.

I deeply hope we’ll be able to get this done in the next few days. It’s not much time. I realize how important it is. It’s one of those projects that resemble my life right now. Fingers crossed, let’s leave it up to faith, but just after I made it happen! : )

Now I have to write my morning pages, today this here was more important. So let’s see!

I believe in this project and know once it is done it will most benefit and give back to every single person involved in it, and afterward maybe the viewer.

Talk to you later!

Love you!

Marco

And I just realized, something was missing, I stepped away for a bit, and thought, and now I got another piece. It’s not just myself I find in others, It’s the same as important and even more important, what makes you different! What is your personal story, and talking and hearing and understanding all this, how do our story, myself in you and your part connect?  It’s so strange, I here something that I could say, you tell me about a feeling or things you do or have done and I know exactly, but then you tell me other things that are so different and when you tell me more I can see where they are coming from. But the interesting part is, are we all going into the same direction at the end? And I think we do, and we’re all at a different spot, but we do. Because at the very end there is just one person we wanna be and we all know this person! We might still run away from it sometimes, but most of the time we know and we wanna be there, many know they wanna be there already, BE THAT PERSON, and we’re all gonna reach it, eventually, almost certainly! Don’t give up! Never, I believe WE ALL are bound and somehow can’t always see it. Strange days. Important days.

Love you all extensively!